I’ve been having a lot of mixed feelings lately. On one hand, it seems like our Arab neighbors have their own legitimate claims and that for the most part, they’re loyal citizens just like me. On the other hand, I find myself hating them and hoping for the day a legitimate Jewish government takes power, and the Arabs are driven from Israel.

My mixed feeling are a result of being immersed in the Israeli public, whether it’s Jewish “settlers” or Arabs from nearby villages. I listen to anyone who wants to talk to me. I’m extremely open-minded to a point where the things I hear have a profound influence on me whether I agree with them or not. I want to continue learning from everyone around me; not to remain stagnant.

I feel that this approach sometimes damages me more than anything because I’ve become a little too open-minded. I literally buy whatever people tell me. I feel I need to develop more character in order to have a voice of my own. Visiting Eastern Jerusalem recently and being exposed to the people there made me feel a strong connection to our struggle for a Greater Israel; a struggle I identify with.

On the other hand, I also don’t have a problem with loyal Arabs living side-by-side with us. I think that when it comes down to it, I’m against transfer only if because I know that were I told to kick Arabs out of their homes, I wouldn’t be able to do so. There’s an intrinsic problem with supporing a “Greater Israel” as well as the Arabs’ rights to live and pursue happiness in Israel. The fact that there’s a conflict of interests here is self-evident. I guess I need to continue living here and learning from my surroundings.

As I continue in my search for “myself”, I hope to eventually figure out exactly where “I stand” and what I think is right and wrong; how I feel Israel should be run and what needs to happen here. I feel it’s important to remain open to different views and opinions.