Deperate Soul: In Memory of NFL Player Jovan Belcher and his Girlfriend

The football world was devastated—yet again—yesterday by Chief’s Jovan Belcher’s murder of his girlfriend, and mother of their infant baby girl, followed by his taking his own life. For both these individuals, it’s over. Yesterday, they were here. Today, they are no more. Their world is gone.

It’s written that every human being is a “world unto himself,” that every individual, whether Jew or Gentile, has an immense amount of potential. We either live up to our potential or needlessly lose it—as I’m afraid was the case with Jovan.

Suicide is the antithesis to life. Even Arab suicide bombers have difficulty accepting the fact that they’re going to die. I know this because there have been cases in which soon-to-be suicide bombers have repented and handed themselves in.

I spent many years of my life being depressed for no apparent reason. I know what it feels like to hurt inside. To hurt all over. To have no one to turn to…

…And I know what it feels like to be connected. To be connected to one’s Father in Heaven. To come to an understanding that there’s a Source for the world, for both the good and the bad; for both the horrible things that happen in our non-stop thrill-seeking reality, and the wonderful introspectiveness that we may bring to our lives as a result of holy living.

May Jovan’s story be a lesson to us all. May we merit to see the day there’s no more sadness, and no more murder.

A poem in Jovan and his girlfriend’s memory:

Desperate soul,

Searching for answers,

Quaking, quivering, questioning.

What have I come to?

Which path to choose?

Where will it lead me?

Small human,

Lost in tidal humanity,

No haven on the dark horizon,

Wind soars,

Clouds flee for new, unknown shores,

Human spirits.

Alien voices,

Heard in a void,

Where? Where?

What is my meaning?

Who am I?

Questions unanswered.